| Class: | Weird beast |
| Hab: | Subterranean (or semi-domesticated in massive constructions) |
| Fre: | Somewhat rare |
| Num: | 1 or 10-20 |
| Lair: | Sessile; 100% |
| Size: | 5-30' wide, 100-5,000' long |
| Move: | None; sessile |
| Def: | Shielded by surrounding stone + shell |
| Att: | Varies; 7-12 heads, 1-6 mouths each + anus Typical: club/claw tentacles, flame jets, allies |
| Int: | Barely? Possibly more |
| Spec: | Harbor symbionts ranked as monsters in their own right Provides living rest-room service in Deeps |
| Posns: | Incidental, rich manure and compost, natural gas |
Sewer beasts are essentially giant intestines that form living sewers. They are advanced invertebrates, very well adapted to a specialized ecological niche. Some consider the idea that sewer beasts may be naturally evolved creatures preposterous, but, given millions or billions of years of evolution in worlds with extensive subterranean civilizations, especially with scientific, divine, or magical bio-manipulation, it is inevitable that sewer beasts would eventually arise, whether naturally or artificially. Once evolved, their invaluable services as living rest-rooms provide a unique ecological niche in which they flourish.
Sewer beasts are generally one to five hundred feet in length, but larger individuals have been documented. A sewer beast usually has seven to twelve branches, each terminating in a head with 1-6 commode-mouths. It is very common for several sewer beasts to form a chain, each sucking directly from the beast or beasts ahead of it. In this way, they may form a branching network many thousands of feet in length.
The end product of a sewer beast, or a chain of sewer beasts, is a very rich, completely digested and composted loam; they reabsorb most of the liquid, so the loam is fairly dry. This loam is ideal for gardens, whether of plants or fungi. Contrary to common prejudice, the well-composted loam has no unpleasant odor. The same cannot be said of the beasts' interiors.
The heads of the sewer beasts are highly adapted. They emit scents that subconsciously induce a desire in any animal in the area to make use of the commode-mouths. Intelligent Folk are not immune to this inducement; individuals and entire civilizations alike may develop complex rationales for using the commode-mouths, disparaging other waste disposal mechanisms. Many use the commode-mouths directly, but other Folk may construct superstructures, such as outhouses and toilets, sealing the sewer beasts below; the alluring scent of the sewer beasts will still rise up; few are able to resist.
A successive larval stage in the animal or person ingesting the eggs may be responsible for a pseudo-instinctive urge to use commodes, specifically those emitting the subtle sewer beast pheromones. This ensures the feeding of adult sewer beasts. Sewer beast larvae fed back to adult sewer beasts act to cross-fertilize the next generation.
Larvae deposited elsewhere, away from mature sewer beasts, develop in to rather ordinary looking worms. These grow until large enough to develop a commode-mouth, at which time they become young adult sewer beasts. Successive generations eventually give rise to a typical branching chain of sewer beasts.
Sewer beasts are as useful as components of a spaceship's life-support system as they are to the infrastructure of any well-managed town or castle. Defenses In areas where sewer bests compete for traffic some develop unusual enticements, such as bidet options, growing shag-like soft scales (for use as bath tissue), and other inducements.
Being such useful beasts, sewer beasts rarely have need to defend themselves. When they do, their defenses can be formidable. As each is adapted to its specific location, these defenses vary. The simplest simply retract the rock-hard commode-mouth structure back a dozen feet in to their tunnel, slamming shut a door-like shell behind it. The beast then wails its distress to summon help; all in the region who make use of its facilities will rush to its aide. (This exceptional cooperative defense behavior may be the result of long-term pheromone exposure.)
Each commode-mouth may harbor, curled inside of it or kept wrapped tightly about its base, a half dozen tentacles. The tenticals have a reach of one or two dozen feet from the commode-mouths they are rooted in or around. Normally used to clean its surroundings, these make effective clubs. In rough neighborhoods, these massive clubs may be augmented with fangs; SEE Stiletto Symbiont.
Some sewer beasts have been known to protect themselves with blasts of flaming methane, emitted through flexible, well-aimed hoses at either end of the beast.
The size of the privy-hood and its interior arrangement depends upon its location and the number of commode-mouths it protects. In open areas above ground, the privy-hood may resemble a shed or short tower. In enclosed areas, such as inside a castle or underground, the privy-hood is likely to resemble a closet. The sewer beast will naturally prefer to build in a corner or other protected location, as this reduces the amount of hard hood material it must grow and maintain.
In corridors or tunnels, sewer beasts may grow a privy-hood with multiple front sides. Often, the hood completely fills an intersection, any excess space being filled with cement-like shell material. In such cases, each front will have a separate operculum-sealed opening.
The interior of such a multi-fronted privy-hood is usually divided, with a separate chamber for each external door. There may or may not be interior operculum-doors communicating between the interior chambers. If there is, the sewer beast will not permit it to be opened until a suitable deposit is made into a commode-mouth. On occasion, an enterprising individual may make use of such a "toll privy," providing prepared toll-deposits to those who would pass through. Happily, the sewer beasts are pleased to accept other materials, such as well-rotted vegetables or animal carcasses.
While the shy may fear aggressive sewer beasts, many doctors praise them. The enema eel, tongue supplanter, or other organ of aggression slides swiftly yet gently all the way up the lower intestine and a ways in to the upper intestine. As it slides back down, the organ or eel leaves a completely cleaned interior. In an ideal form of symbiotic behavior, the eel or organ, while extracting the maximum amount of what is for it nutritional matter, also sucks out any and all harmful parasites from the intestine it is visiting while simultaneously depositing a healthy mix of beneficial colonic microbes such as will aide future digestion. Anyone visited by an enema eel will have an improved health for at least a week, even in otherwise unsanitary conditions; in sanitary conditions, the benefits last even longer.
The sewer beasts, or their symbionts, are able to sense whether a visitor is ready for a cleaning; only the most ravenous of starved enema eels would visit a visitor who didn't need it, as that would stress delicate tissues unnecessarily. To further ease their visits, enema eels secrete a soothing slime. Alchemists value this slime, as it makes a superb wound dressing, gently numbing pain while providing very effective antiseptic protection.
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